There has been a huge wave over the past 5 years I have noticed so, so many, many people who are looking for a spiritual awakening and ascension, I would say I have been one of them, I was that is. After a day of deep introspection, and a week of trying to connect and reach out to other "Spiritual workers" and "Masters" I have found, and found again and again in my life, that no one is a "Master" at this. We all are our Masters. WE all have the ability to be one with spirit. I have found all these spaces, apps and groups that are meant to bring people together, and bring in healing, but I have found it to be toxic. Everyone has made this so much more complicated then it should be. To be respected in this field, and to be known, you have to do something out this world to get there, but really I think it's much more simple than that. I think we need time in quiet, and to really listen, instead of asking and seeking and looking. God is there if you just listen. 

As someone who does a lot of energy work, and has learned the hard way about “protection”, I want to share some valuable information about why putting up protection actually makes you more of a target than not. Imagine you see someone walking down the street in full on battle armor, weapons and guns and shields. They clearly seem to be looking for a fight, and are living in fear right ?! I would say so. They are now the talk of the street with everyone looking at them, they have become a target. Now imagine this in the energy world, where things are bit different- let me explain. Everyone and everything has energy and is energy. We can send healings over time and space, we can also send curses. It’s all intent. Thoughts - conscious or not create energy, good or bad. There are things out there that are so non coherent that there main purpose has become attacking others on an energetic level. When we put up all these “protection” shields we are simply setting up a target for them to find us. I haven’t had to put up any form of protection in the past two months with this method. Why ? Because my energy is running, and I am regulated, and my field is strong and doing what it’s meant to do! Keep the negative out and let the positive in! When I learned Reiki many years ago, I was never taught how to do this, and since then I have taken many many classes on energy work, And have become a Usui and Holy fire reiki master. I never was taught the importance of running my energy and why we need to this daily, and how to put up permission, not protection. This way we have a clear field, and no issues ! If you are interested in learning more and want to try it contact me ! I’m offering a meditation and healing session to teach you how to use this technique for only $35! This is a major discount ! I hope to see you soon !

I recently started doing Scalar Heart connection after I learned about the Quantum healing codes from my Resonance Repatterning program. Being the person I am, passionate about my work I ended up taking the practitioner course in Scalar Heart connection- the founder or the Quantum healing codes. Scalar Heart uses the intelligence of your own heart to find out the root causes of the problems you are facing. You start the process by plugging in your problem(s). You then quiet the mind , and tune into your heart, you are going to ask a number from 1-7( or what ever numbers they give) and your heart WILL give you a number in response! It then will tell you what this number means in association with your problems, and as you go through the session, what the cause is, and why you can’t shift it. It takes you through the hero’s journey, you are the hero, who has been called to action(change) by having this problem, as you go through the session it will tell you where the problem lies in the astrological realms and how to shift it. It’s been incredibly enlightening and has helped me really understand myself better. I have done these sessions on my children, and they had some pretty amazing experiences with it. You can’t go wrong when it’s your heart telling you all the answers ! Our hearts hold more intelligence then our brains and have the ability to guide us in the right direction, if we can just listen ! The coolest part of this is you can get an app for this and do mini sessions on yourself! Happy shifting !

Many people have asked how does distance healing, or distance muscle checking work? Well let me explain. Lets start out with something we already kind of understand, and I think its safe to say we all have one, a cell phone ! Why a phone ? Well look at your phone, when its not plugged in, does it have any cords connecting it to the person you just texted ? No, well then how does it know to send that message to that person? How does the "energy of the internet" know to send a email to your friend and not your boss? Well the answer is simple, frequency, or energy, if you prefer. Think of your friends phone number or email as their personal code, thats how the "energy" gets sent to them and not the whole contact list. Just like phone numbers and emails, we all have our own frequency or energy. That connects us to each other. Now think about this, have you ever walked into a room and felt someone had some bad vibes ? Well that was just their personal frequency you picked up on. When it comes to healing the same rules apply. When I go into muscle check a client, I have their permission to tap into their energy field and our nervous systems connect. Just like making a phone call, you can't see the energy , there are no "wires" but it connects. We are all energy, we all have our own frequency, or "code", or "number" that makes up us. So when a healing is done, I am connecting to your system. You will feel the shift, whether you are getting Resonance, Scalar Heart, or Reiki. If you aren't sure I urge you to give it shot! When you book an appointment with me on Vagaro put in this code - DIST2021. And you will get your first session for half off! I hope to see you soon !! 

What is Reiki? As a Reiki master and Practitioner, I have a hard time answering this question myself. I have done many many sessions on many different people. But still, I can find it hard to explain exactly what it is to someone who has no idea. The best answer I could come up with is you just need to experience it to understand it! Although I realize that's not going to hook many people ! I'll start off explaining it in a more tangible way. 
As we are living breathing beings, we are also made up of energy, this is scientifically proven. Each one of us has our own frequency, and our own "vibe" if you will. Reiki, is life force energy. Everything that is alive or is an organic substance has this life force energy within it. Bare with me here, we as humans also have many energy centers in our body, as well as an aura that surrounds us, that reflects the energy we are around us in a egg like shape. Some people have the ability to see these or feel these, I personally can do both. There are 7 major energy centers in the body, these are called chakras. Each chakra is associated with certain parts of the body, for example the crown is the top of the head, the third eye is between your eyes, the throat is at the throat, the heart at the heart, the solar plexus at the stomach, the sacral at the pelvis and the root at the anus. There are also sub chakras at the palms of the hands, the hips, knees, ankles and feet. There are about 120 + chakras in all, but we won't get into that right now. 
Reiki is a way to rebalance the energy centers in the body and field and repair and expand the aura. Why might one want to do this you may be asking? When there is something physically wrong, thats the last part of the problem shows up, and sometimes it can be too late to repair it. When you do reiki, you are healing things before they can reach your physical plane. You are literally putting in pure life force energy into your mind, body and soul. Not to mention how amazing you feel after the session! Getting Reiki done lowers your blood pressure, lowers your pulse an induces good feeling endorphins in the body giving you a feeling a complete peace and relaxation. And all you have do for a session is lay there, the practitioner does the rest. 
During a reiki session, the client remains fully clothed, and the practitioner simply lays their hands on the client. Reiki can also be done by a distance, since we are all made of energy, and time and distance don't exist in the energetic field, the client ill feel the same effects of a session in person or via distance. 

I started doing reiki about 10 years ago, and I have since then become a Reiki Master and Practitioner. I am also Catholic and always bring my faith into each session, calling in assistance from the angels and saints, and of course Jesus and the Holy Spirit and the Holy Fire. I also teach Reiki, and other classes about natural healing and health! 

Have you ever wondered why you can't seem to change certain parts of your life no matter how hard you try? You say the affirmations and do all the things you can think of to clear it, smudge, meditate,  yoga, talk to friends, go to therapy, and still the problem(s) are still there? Have you just accepted that, it's just the way it is and there is nothing you can do to change it?  I have been there, I have done all the things I could think, prayed, cried, smudged, burned things, light candles and meditated, and even years of therapy. Nothing really shifted the problem, it was still there, I just felt like I had to live with it. It wasn't until I had my first resonance repatterining session that I discovered why. My first session was done over the phone, I knew the woman from the doula program I took a few year prior, she is very practical and I knew I could trust her, even though the process of this seemed weird . I was willing to try anything. Before we started the session she explained to me the method used during the session, its called muscle checking ( its the same thing as muscle testing , but we call it checking, because who wants to be tested!). Muscle checking is nothing magical it's simply just using the practitioners body to check the clients resonance with the statements said during the session. Its a pretty amazing tool to have !  When the session started, she asked me what the problem I was having was. Words exploded from my mouth. There was so many, were do I start? I have to home school my then three and five year old, we are in a pandemic, my husband is working 6 days a week, I'm a terrible mother, and the list went on. She quietly said, ok I am getting we have all we need. I was thinking ok, but there is so much more! As we went on in the session, we found the root of the current problem. I was brought back to when I was 11, I had an injury to my tailbone. I fell off a tall rock and I was knocked out for a few minuets.  After it happened I told my parents no one believed it was as bad as it was. This problem, even though it happened when I was 11, was still negatively affecting my life, and had a direct connection to my current problem. We went on with the session, briefly talking about how it made me feel, and what I wish would have happened, and at the end of the session we did something called and energizing option, there are 127 different options, mine was a meridian point that needed to be opened up ( I'll explain more on meridians in another blog, but basically they are like energy highways in the field  that correlate to different body systems and emotions.) She hit the point and I felt it shift in my body, I had a natural high feeling. We went through all the statements again,  and I felt different repeating them. I wasn't so upset, I didn't feel so stressed, my body wasn't so tense. As I went though the next few weeks the good feeling stayed. Things had really shifted. Those problems haven't come back up in that way for me since, and I had that first session 9 months ago. Since then I have had numerous sessions, I took the program and finished it in May of 2020, and have since then made my own practice of Resonance Repatterning. I am now a student practitioner. I am working on studying to take the test and becoming fully certified through the RPA ( Resonance Repatterning Association). 
Although not everyone is going to become a practitioner, I have had one client start the program though (yay!), having even just one session can change your life. Your resonance will be shifted for the better I can promise you this! I have had many clients walk out of my home office and my office at Pushna Wellness, saying that they are a different person, and I see it in their eyes and feel it in their energy. Its really and amazing thing!  If you would like to book a session with me feel free to use the contact form! Mention this blog for 50% off your session ! 

            Postpartum, what comes to mind when you hear that word? I hope it's all good feelings and lots of love and support and memories or wishes of the best times. But to far to many of us, its not. It's not always this beautiful picture of a bonding family and breastfeeding with ease and sleeping all night. It's hard, but it doesn't have to suck either. It truly is an amazing time, its a beautiful time, and it shouldn't be rushed. 
          The stats for women who have PPD/PPA are 1:10. I disagree, I disagree a lot. The majority of women I know have had it or have it. In a group of 12 women all but 1 have have some form of Postpartum depression or anxiety. The stats are now 1:10 for women DON'T have PPD/PPA. Why is this so drastically different from the USA's stats, from the AMA? Women are afraid to get help, they are afraid they will be seen as weak, or crazy, or have their kids taken away so they say nothing and suffer in silence. Women are made to think the postpartum period is 6 weeks, or 12 weeks if you are lucky. It's not. It's 3 years.  THREE YEARS. Not three months. What do we get for it? Nothing? Many of us are forced back to work after 6 weeks due to loss of income, or loosing their job, and many take this leave with no pay. Husbands don't get to help much either, the most my husband ever got was one week, paid if he used his vacation days. That was it. I'm not saying my family didn't help or support, but it's not their only job to take care of me. They have other jobs and lives to live too. 
      I had postpartum depression with both kids, I didn't get help the first time because I didn't know that's what it was. Both of my pregnancies were unexpected. I was told by my OBGYN, it would be very difficult to get pregnant because my ovaries were covered with cysts and my cycles were very irregular and I had two miscarriages. I wasn't expecting to have either child, but I'm so glad they decided to join my life. After I had my first I had to quit my job, making $30,000 a year because I wanted to raise my child, and daycare would have taken more then we could afford to pay if I kept working. I ended up filing for bankruptcy 2 years later. We could barley pay our ever increasing rent at our apartment of 5 years. My husband was just getting himself back into the world after having lost his job, and having to take a 3 month medical leave. Through all this, we had family support, but no support from the county or state. After baby (#1) was born I was kicked of state insurance, and was left with none. There wasn't many options for me to get help, besides the fact I  was afraid to tell my Doctor what I was really feeling and what my intrusive thoughts really were. It kind of went away after some time, but never completely. 
           Then I  had a second child  two years later. I had severe postpartum depression and anxiety, and it wasn't treated properly for 4 months, I saw several doctors and tried over 10 different medications. I ended up going to a Mother and Baby psychiatric care facility for postpartum depression/anxiety (Pine Rest in Grand Rapids, MI) and was actually treated properly, which my dad paid for in cash, over $1000 dollars.  Then I started to get better when my second was about 7 months old. I found the right medication which I requested to try as I was on it years ago, and it worked. Now I'm better then I have ever been. Am I weaker for this? NO. Am I a bad mother for having had this happen? NO. Am I crazy for having had the thoughts I had, or been to a facility to get help? NO. There is no shame in this. What there is shame in, is the care for women postpartum, the lack of knowledge, the fact that insurance wont cover the necessary care. The fact that women don't have the option to be able to take time off work without guilt, and are forced to be back to normal and bounce back after three months. It's not OK. Its normal to have a rollercoaster of emotions after having a baby, its normal to feel more when you become a mother. It's NOT normal to have PPD/PPA, but it doesn't mean you are weak, and you are most defintnely  not alone. 
             I do what I do to support and empower women, I am here to be their advocate during this time in their lives. To help protect mom and baby, and support them with what they need, not what the Doctor needs or wants. Women having babies are not just another patient or face or body, we are just like you, just like everyone else. Treat them all as you would your sister, your mother your daughter. Build each other up, and support in whatever way you can. Just keep living. Just keep Loving. It gets better, I promise.

As I sit here to write this post, I have a screaming two year old, crying for Mama, for an unknown reason.  My other child is standing, not sitting, standing in front of the the TV watching PJ Masks. My house looks as though its been turned into a laundry mat, and my kitchen chairs have been tied to the table to prevent the two year old from moving them to the counter to create more chaos and destruction in this place I call home. This is a normal day, a normal morning, and at one point all this chaos would have driven me into a full blown panic attack, but now its normal. I haven't given up on having a nice home or nice things, I just have to wait.  And that's OK. My house is less then perfect, and probably not even up to code, the landlord doesn't charge much so I'm OK with dealing with this homes little tricks and hacks to keep it running, at least try to.  Its definitely not ideal to not have a working dishwasher, or that I have to have my laundry hose attached to a garden hose and out it outside to drain because our septic is bad. Its OK that I don't have a fancy suburban home, in a nice neighborhood with paved driveways and paved roads. Its OK that my husbands car has a muffler made of tin cans, and is so loud it wakes us up at 5 AM when he goes to work. Its OK. Its OK that my life is less then perfect. Its OK we don't have much in our savings, or retirement right now, this will all change. Whats important right now is not things, yes they make life so much easier, but they don't make life. We make life. WE Create life, and create the future of this planet, this earth, the children. I want my children to know that its OK to have minimnal things sometimes, and that they are loved regardless. I wouldn't trade this for any amount of money or things. As I sit here with a snotty, teething, crusty two year old, and my four year old, sitting on top of a pile of laundry. We all went though hell when Lilly was born (2 year old), after having some severe postpartum depression, no money, broken down cars, negative bank account balance, shut off notices, and just shit in every other way. A failing marriage and a failing life, we made it. WE made it through hell and we are OK. Its all going to be OK. Just keep doing, keep going and keep loving. 

Being a mother has always been hard, it has always had it struggles even the first mothers who walked this earth had struggles with screaming kids and teething and breastfeeding and picky eaters. But why does it seem like it’s so much harder than it used to be? 
Let's face it now a days most families need to have two incomes to make ends meet, I know my family does, if you are one of the lucky women who husband has a well enough paying job that you can stay home that's awesome! But you stay at home mom still has struggles. When both parents work, whether it's full time or part time or a few times a year mom has to work, we the mothers still have the same responsibilities we had when/if we stayed at home, and it's even harder for single moms (even if they don’t work). I’m not bashing men or dads here at all, my husband does a lot for our family besides working 50+ hours a week, he helps at home he cooks dinner, and puts the kids to bed. And he gets a taste of being the stay at home parents the two days a week I work, on his two days off. But men, they aren’t women.  They don’t have the same sacred bond we have with our babies, they didn’t go through the changes we have, they didn’t give birth and share that experience with all the other women giving birth at that same moment. There is something very scared about being a mother, and a women. We are lucky to be women, and to share our cycles and experiences with other women. We have a sacred rhythm we all have and all share that men just don’t have. And yes men have their own too, but as a women I fell this is so much more and different. We don’t call the earth, Father Earth, Its Mother Earth, we bring life and nourish and sustain. Men are meant to provide and to supply, to work.
I think this all has been lost in the world now. I know there are pockets around where people are still in touch with this, but it’s dissolving. Young women are losing the sacredness of being a woman, and then they are having babies and it gets more watered down. This is why I do what I do. I never would have thought when I was 14, that this is what my passion would be. I have had two children and experienced a medical birth and a natural birth. They are both birth, and they are both sacred. Women are sacred beings and we can do some amazing things. But how are we supposed to be in touch with this when we are forced to work, and put our children in day care for someone else to do a watered down job of what you can do? What has happened to this planet?
​I know some women want to work, maybe they need to work for their own sanity, but they shouldn’t be forced to, forced take away the sacredness of being a mother for those 8-10 hours a day to work, and hope that someone else is going to do the same job they would for their child. It’s sad, and I wish it weren’t so, but it happens everyday. I’m not saying women should all quit their jobs, or they are bad mothers for working. But get in touch, get in touch with your womanhood, get in touch with being a women and your body, your baby, your life, your purpose. Who are you ? What are you doing? Is this work you are doing making this world better? Is it helping you to be a better person? If not, take some steps to change, get support, get a group of women together to support each other and find the sacredness of being a woman. We are here for a purpose and our children chose us to be their mother, lets nourish ourselves and our families, and our earth. ​